Meet Beverly. My sister in law. When I first met Bev it was when I started dating my now husband. I remember going to their house for takeaway pizzas and a ‘meet and greet’ with her and her hubby, Craig. Bev was pregnant at the time with her son Daniel, now 5. I remember leaving their house a few hours later and saying to Barry “I’m not sure we can be together, your family just does not talk to me'” I’m glad I persevered, because even though it took what felt a lifetime to get Bev – and my in-laws – to open up to me, it was worth the wait. Also, Bev is no longer pregnant, and non pregnant Bev loves wine. And Wine fuelled Bev is an absolute hoot.
In December last year we had the family come round for an early Christmas lunch, and as Bev walked through the door I said to her ‘you look fantastic!’ and she did. She hadn’t told us but she had recently started a weight loss and exercise program, and even though at that stage she had only lost a few kilograms, she was absolutely radiant. Fast forward to 10 moths later, and Bev has lost 41 kilograms, and still going strong.
41 kilograms. I’ll let that sink in for a moment.
Because Bev is Bev and very quiet, she hasn’t (as I would have done) made a big deal about this absolutely massive achievement. So I’m going to do that on her behalf, because I am utterly inspired by this weight loss and lifestyle journey she has embarked on, and I think her progress and results deserves a medal.
I’ll let her tell you her story in her own words below, but I wanted to tell her just how proud I am of her. Well done sis, you are an inspiration. Thank you for sharing your remarkable story.
{RA}Tell me a bit about yourself
{BN} My name is Bev and I am a wife, a mom of two amazing little ones and a career woman. My two greatest loves are reading and drinking wine and if I get a moment to do both at the same time – HEAVEN! I have always been a bit on the chubby side, and at varsity I gained a lot of weight, and then came the pregnancy weight, and then came the “I feel sorry for myself” weight. It got to the point that I was unhealthy and unhappy and needed to do something about it. I am currently on the best journey of my life – I am losing weight and I am happy and I am healthy.
{RA} What was the trigger for you that made you want to lose weight
{BN} I started a new job in September 2015 in a company full of young vibrant people. I loved the environment from day 1 but I felt that I didn’t quite fit in, not because the people around me treated me differently, but because I was fat and I felt like I didn’t belong. This played on my mind for a few weeks and I was starting to become unhappy, wandering if I had made the right job choice, wandering if I shouldn’t have stayed in my previous company where it had become accepted. At no point in all these commiserations did I think “maybe I should try lose weight” until the evening of 14 November 2015 when sitting in the lounge playing with my children, Daniel looked up at me mid-way through our game and said “mommy why are you so FAT?” My heart broke, I cried all night! I was not angry with him, he didn’t understand the hurt his words would cause, I was angry with myself. For the first time in all my fat years – I was able to admit to myself that I was fat and that I wanted that to change. The next morning I gave him the biggest hug ever and thanked him – I had made up my mind – his words were going to change my life!
{RA} Have you started a weightloss program in the past or was this your first attempt?
{BN} Weight loss program – No! Fad diet – I have tried them all, from taking close to 20 pills a day to eating only green foods for two weeks. You name it, I have tried it. I was always looking for the quick fix and I would lose some weight (5 – 7kg) . Then I would get bored of the dry chicken breasts and green veg, fall back into old habits (Carbs! Carbs! Carbs!) and gain it back together with a couple extra kilo’s.
{RA} How was it different this time do you think? What has made you stick to it?
{BN} Those innocent words out of my sweet child’s mouth (mommy why are you so fat). It wasn’t someone judging me (which has happened so much in the past), it wasn’t someone telling me that I needed to diet or exercise, it wasn’t someone being nasty or mean. It was my sweet child asking a question, an innocent question, a question that he didn’t know would cause so much anguish, a question that made me accept that I was fat. Before that, in my heart I knew it but in my head I could justify it. In that moment, all the justifications fell away – I was fat! Admitting it to myself was what made it different, I was making a change because I wanted to not because that is what people expected me to do.
{RA} How much weight have you lost?
{BN} I have lost a total of 41kg’s so far and 5 pant sizes.
{RA} When did you start on this journey? Tell me a bit about how it all began and whats happened in the x months since you’ve been on it
{BN} The journey started the morning after Daniel asked me why I was fat. I woke my husband up in the early hours of the morning and asked him if he could play “mom” for the next 6 months. I told him that I needed to take some time to get myself sorted out and asked him if he could help a bit more with the children. Now don’t get me wrong – he did his fair share of kiddie duty and is the most amazing father, but I needed him to pick up some more so that I could get out and exercise. He agreed with no questions asked.
That morning I joined the gym. And somehow the planets were aligned that day, because that night one of my very close friends asked me if I wanted to join her out running two mornings a week. So with all the exercise happening, it was time to start the diet. I found a lady close to work who specialised in weight loss and for the next 10 weeks she guided me through the lifestyle change. I was losing weight and I was happy! December came and December went and I still lost weight (I mean who loses weight in December right). I was exercising 6 times a week and was starting to feel more human.
One Sunday afternoon in January at lunch with the family, my dad challenged me to do 70.3 Ironman in Durban on the 20th of June. Now, I can’t blame the wine for this one since I was having a booze free January but, after a chat with the husband (because this was going to mean more time away from home), I accepted, it was on. I got myself an amazing coach (who also happens to be my brother), bought myself a bicycle and all the other paraphernalia that goes along with triathlon training and started the most gruelling training program ever. I was training 9, sometimes 10 times a week – and when I wasn’t training, I was sleeping. It was exhausting! I wasn’t eating right for someone training so much and although the weight loss lady I was seeing was amazing, I needed someone who was able to get me through all the training and still help me lose weight. I found myself a sports nutritionist (a rather fierce women) who developed a nutrition plan for me, and since the beginning of March I have seen her once a week – it keeps me accountable!
Over the last few months, my entire perception of food has changed. I no longer eat because I enjoy it, I eat because I need energy to get myself through the day. I no longer crave carbs and can quite happily go through the day without thinking about eating anything I shouldn’t. Don’t get me wrong – I do cheat, but the cheat days are far fewer than the good days!
{RA} What was your starting weight and what is your goal weight?
{BN} This one is hard for me to admit! Starting weight was 118kg – goal weight is 64kg.
{RA} What has been the hardest part of the journey?
{BN} Since I had my little boy in 2011, I devoted every minute I wasn’t working to spending time with him and then with him and his sister. My life was my children. When I started this journey I had to be selfish with my time, getting up early in the mornings and leaving the house before they even woke up, getting home late 2 evenings a week when they were already in bed and handing them over to my mom weekend in and weekend out when I went cycling and running. It was hard – at times I felt like “the worst mom in the world”.
In saying that though, I learnt that quality time with my children was far more important than quantity. As the months went on, I was able to play and run around with them and that was far more important to them than me just being there all the time.
{RA} Whats been the best part of your journey?
{BN} The confidence that comes along with losing the weight. I am not the same person I was 9 and a half months ago and I love the new me. Although there is still a way to go before I will be happy with my body.
{RA} Do you think its possible for someone to do this on their own, or would you suggest going through a professional?
{BN} If there is one thing I have learnt through this journey, it’s that nothing is impossible. So yes it is possible to do it on your own. Would I suggest that you go at it alone – no! The support I have received from my nutritionist has been wonderful. There are times where she has pushed me to breaking point and times where she has told me to go eat a donut. She has encouraged me every step of the way and she has kept me accountable.
{RA} What do you make of weightloss clinics who give injections and pills? Would you consider it?
{BN} Weight loss is a lifestyle change. There is no quick fix. If you want to lose weight you need to do it through blood, sweat and tears. Would I consider going to a weight loss clinic who gives you pills for 6 weeks, you lose 6kgs and then go on your merry way – no! Would I consider pills prescribed by a professional in conjunction with a healthy eating plan and lots of exercise – definitely. I am currently taking pills to stabilise my bloods, and this together with the eating plan and lots of exercise is a win for me.
{RA} What exercise/training have you been doing in conjunction with your eating plan?
Once I had accepted the challenge of 70.3 Ironman Durban, I started training 9 to 10 times a week – swimming, running and cycling. I was going to do it – or die trying! With the guidance of my coach – I did it, I finished and I loved it. In the run up to 70.3, I learnt to ride a bicycle, did my first sprint distance triathlon and my first half marathon. Since then I have done an olympic distance triathlon and I am now training for my first marathon in November. I have cut back on the training a bit and am now training 6 to 7 times a week, which is much more manageable over the long term and I have a little bit of extra time with my children.
{RA} Take me through an average meal
{BN} An average meal consists of 1 portion of protein (200g fish or chicken / 4 egg whites) and two soup spoons of salad / vegetables. Sounds like a normal diet right – accept I am allowed to use salt and sauces! This makes the world of difference.
(Kate side note: I’m on the same eating plan. Im so hangry I could die. i have no idea how she does it)
{RA} Don’t you miss pizza? I would always miss pizza.
{BN} Oh my word – YES! Pizza is probably the one thing that I really do miss, all that melted cheese.
{RA} How do you juggle it all what with being a mom of 2, a wife and a career women
{BN} Wine :)! Seriously though – with the never ending support from my husband. My husband has been my biggest supporter though out this entire journey and has helped me with everything, from packing my gym bags the night before an early morning swim / gym session, to scrambling my egg whites at 5am in the morning before I head off to gym. He took over a lot of the household chores so that when I was home, I was able to spend that quality time with the children. Without him being the GREAT man that he is – I would never have been able to juggle it all.
{RA} Have you encountered any negativity on your journey?
{BN} No, everyone around me has supported me every step of the way, from my family to my colleagues at work, everyone has encouraged me and cheered for me!
{RA} If I were you I would have been shouting my achievements from the rooftops, and telling anyone who met me about how well I had done. You are really modest and haven’t really made a big deal about it – why is that?
{BN} I let my appearance do the talking. Everyone I have seen since has seen the difference, I never felt like I needed to shout it out. I love to share my story with anyone who is willing to listen – but at the same time I am conscious that some people don’t want to hear all the gory details.
{RA} What are some of the best compliments/comments you’ve received?
{BN} Nothing beats hearing your dad say “I’m proud of you”. That is definitely something I am going to carry close to my heart for a very long time. And a bunch of my colleagues no longer refer to me by name, but refer to me as Slender.
{RA} How do you ‘reward’ yourself? Is it a cheat meal, clothes, holiday etc?
{BN} I haven’t yet! I avoid rewarding myself with food – since food is what made me fat in the first place. I have had to purchase myself new clothes a few times already (I can fit both my legs into one leg in my fat jeans), but I haven’t yet splurged on clothes I love. Once I reach goal weight – I am definitely going to reward myself with a shopping spree.
{RA} Speaking of, what is your favourite cheat food?
{BN} Pizza of course
{RA} Whats been the best ‘surprise’ for you on this journey – i.e buying smaller clothes, feeling healthier, feeling happier etc?
{BN} The confidence.
{RA} Has your husband become more healthy in the process – do you think your new good habits have rubbed off on him and the kids?
{BN} The kids and husband still do eat normal everyday family meals like spaghetti bolognaise and macaroni cheese, but there are a lot more vegetables on everyone’s plates and there is very little junk food in the house.
{RA} How do you cope on weekends or at parties? That’s when most people tend to fall off the wagon. Do you pack Tupperware’s of celery sticks and much on those instead of the chip and dip?
{BN} My nutritionist told me at my very first appointment that if I go to a dinner party and the host serves lasagne, I should eat it. Life happens! I do however try to have a snack before I go anywhere so that I am not hungry and won’t pick at the chip and dip and I do try to eat only protein and veg when out and about, but when the lasagne lands on the plate I eat it and I enjoy it. Then I make sure that I jump straight back onto the wagon.
So many nutritionists and dieticians say it’s not about the number on the scale (to throw the scale away!) that muscle weighs more than fat, blah blah blah. Do you feel the same? Is body fat and muscle mass more important to you than actual numbers on a scale?
For me, at first the actual weight loss was important and I would weigh myself weekly. But once I started seeing the changes and having to buy smaller clothes, the weight itself became less important. I am determined to get to goal weight, but more importantly for me, I am determined to get into a size 10. And if the two can happen at the same time – that would be great!
{RA} What sort of advice would you give to someone looking to start on a weightloss journey?
{BN} Do it for yourself! Take some time and be selfish with it, make it about yourself and make sure that you have someone strong to support you.
{RA} Lastly, when this is all up and you have hit your goal. Whats next in line for you?
{BN} To be honest, I haven’t thought that far ahead yet. I guess I will find another crazy event to take part in because exercise has become a big part of my life.
