Guys, I hardly ever do the spa scene. I am truly the most awkward spa-goer there is. Firstly, I always wear the wrong things, I feel completely lame in front of the therapist and I generally lie there as stiff as a rod wondering if my feet smell from the pumps I was wearing that day. Don’t even get me started on bikini waxes – when suddenly my cellphone becomes the most important thing in the world while the therapist pulls and yanks things that not even my husband has seen. So, it was with slight hesitation that I agreed to accompany some friends for a Thai massage this week.
I’m so glad I said yes though – because Enmasse is absolutely amazing. It’s not your typical spa – all burning incense and humming dolphins. It’s beautiful; dark, stark and minimalistic – with modern music, a tea bar and extraordinarily friendly staff.
Assuming this would be the typical spa experience – where one emerges as oiled up as a Brakpan mechanic, I arrived suitably prepared with 3 day old unwashed hair. Awkies. One remains clothed and un-oiled the entire time. (Because, according to Enmasse, it’s not that kind of party). The massage process, for want of a better word, is neat and clean, there are no standing beds with head cutouts, instead the massage areas are partitioned off by white linen walls and patrons lie on the floor on fancy feeling duvets and pillows.
My masseuse, Thandi, was lovely – she didn’t even snort when I apologized for being fat. She simply made me feel totally at ease while she bent and manipulated every part of my body. I didn’t even worry about sweaty feet. Alas, the loser in me reared her awkward head at the end of the massage when Thandi left me lying on the ground. Do I wait here I wondered? Ya, I’m sure I wait here. So waited I did, as still as a plank. After 5 minutes with no return of the Thandi I started hissing for my friends. ‘Lauren!?” “Jasmine??”. “Guys?”. Eventually I stood up, only to find all the massage areas completely empty and made up. No sign of human life remaining. I skulked into the main parlour and found them giggling (not at me, they promised) on the couches drinking herbal tea, or ‘betrayal beverages’ as I now call them.
Check out their website for their offerings. They even do pre-natal massage which is something I desperately needed when I was preggers. Sadly, asking my husband for a foot rub didn’t quite do the trick.
So, even though I may have overstayed my welcome a tad, no-one made me feel uneasy. Not even when I dropped an earring under a chair and had half the staff on hands and knees looking for it. I am not kidding when I say I’m that person.
The fabulous owners at Enmasse would now like you to experience what I went through (minus the sweaty feet and awkwardness, of course). I’m giving away two 60 minute massages valued at R420 each.
Entering is easy:
- Like Enmasse on Facebook
- Follow Rupert Approves
- Leave a comment on this post. Any comment will do, but I will be swayed by bribery of ‘You’re so pretty’ and ‘Gosh you look thin today’.
The Ts and The Cs and the thank you pareese.
- Enmasse is located on Corlett Drive, Sandton. Winners must make their way to and from the venue
- The competition closes at 5 pm on Friday
- The prize is not transferrable
- Competition mechanics must be followed in order to stand in line to win
- I was only kidding about nice comments. Kinda.
As an added bonus. Enmasse is offering R100 off a massage for every Rupert Approves reader. Simply use the top secret code word ‘Rupert Approves’ when claiming and booking.
Oooh i think I am deserving of this lol
Awesome competition 🙂 plus you are so awesome 😉
Meeee meeeee pick meeeee! I would give my husband’s left testicle for 60 min of me time ????
Ok, I really do need this in my life, after 20k in car repairs and a COJ billing issue of 8k we are fundementally broke. I have a serious sad and I think you should give me the prize. Thanks. And yes you are looking fab, and no, I’m not just saying that.
Oh no!! Sounds hideous Anthi 🙁 Your entry is in 🙂
As a sleep-deprived new mom, this would be the ideal treat ?
Hahaha I’m so glad to hear I’m not the only person who feel uncomfortable at the average spa (or the only one concerned about smelly feet in situations like these!). Spa-ing (is that even a word?) is a weird experience, but this place seems great! Love a good honest review 🙂
Again, great read as always! Never had a spa experience… would love some me time 🙂
Can you imagine the brownie points when I pass my hard won Enmasse prize onto my wife…ka-ching!
BUDDY KEEN. Thai massages are my favourite. AND YOU KNOW you’re a belter.
As a fellow mom you will know how much a massage and ‘me time’ is and id love to win as holding my 11 month old whilst cooking and running around makes my shoulders very tight! 😉 also as a fellow mama- take time out for YOU and don’t feel guilty about it. Carter is a lucky boy to have a commited mother so be kind to yourself
I so loved reading this! Your experience with these types of treatments is my experience too! Thank goodness I’m not the only awkward treatment troll!
This will give the term “stretched to the limits” a complete other meaning. Happy Place, Happy Thoughts, Happy Body. ahhhh
Dear Kate, what a good read. I’m sure you have become a “spa person” or at least an ” Enmasse spa person” after this wonderful experience. I would love to experience this as touch is definately one of my love languages. Sends me to my happy place. But funny how women or mommies never allow time for ourselves to go for a 30min massage. Gave birth 2 months ago and I have been following your blog since then when I was in desperate need to regain my sanity. My husband is working in the deep dark Africa and has been away for 6weeks now, so flying solo as a new clueless mommy has been quite a roller coaster experience. I love your post “I don’t love you” I read it whenever I feel a little worn out and down in the dumps. I so look forward to your posts and thank you for giving us new mommies some hope and a way to keep sane.
Your comment actually just brought tears to my eyes – I started blogging as a way to diarise my life and store my memories. The more I wrote the more people started engaging, and I never tire of hearing how a certain post has affected someone in some way. It’s a reminder as to why I do it, and a reminder to keep being honest and vulnerable. Thank you!!
I take my hat (and all other clothes!) off to you for doing the mothering thing alone while your hubby is away. Even the best behaved baby is hard work!
Thanks again for the comment and your entry – I wish I could give this prize to every single person. Sounds like everyone needs some RnR time. X
OMG do I need one of these. After running around after a toddler any mom
Needs a pamper session. It’s exhausting. Hehe.
Love ur blog Kate it’s super awesome like u ?
A well captured first time account of getting a Thai massage. Hope you have many more to come. They truly are seriously relaxing
I had already liked Enmasse on FB so entering this compo is super easy for me. I love how awkward you are in your head, friend – this makes you my spirit animal. FYI – it totally doesn’t show IRL, you’re awesome xx
Katie this place sounds amazing! Definitely in need of a good spa day! Thanks for another awesome blog post. Can’t wait for you to start blogging about hotels in Bora Bora where we can win a 100-night-all-inclusive-drink-as-much-champagne-as-you-can stay.
NICE one … and tots agree with Shans comment about Bora bora hahaha …. wish i could say my sleep deprivation came from being a mom but alas … its a thing called workstress mixed with insomnia hahaha.
Im pregnant this looks like i REAAAALLLLY REALLY NEED IT ?
I definitely need this spa treatment as I now have time on my hands and need to keep calm and tranquil.
It’s my birthday next Friday…
I think this would be an amazing gift, thanks Kate, you really shouldn’t have – how flipping awesome are you!!!
AND it’s right up the road from my house – SEE meant to be, right!!
Single Mommys need time out too…
Oh, and Rupert Approves… I asked him!
I don’t want the treatment for myself, but rather for my wife. She’s had two rough years completing her MBA while still being a mom to two boys (three including me) and I think she really deserves a bit of me time.
So do you think they would wake me if I fell asleep on those comfy looking duvets and pillows or just leave me to catch up my, long lost mom of too many, sleep!! Ps your so pretty, gosh you look thin but that cleavage is as hot as a dummy their!!
That’s dummy theif!! Heheh
This sounds awesome! And yes, you are so pretty and I don’t know WHY you think you’re fat??…. And … Of course you have the cutest baby ever! ?
After my first week back at work I definitely need this ?
This preggie mamma needs some pampering in her life… and by the by.. you are looking more fab everyday xx
Pick me as I have hot to be your favourite friend ????
Enmasse is owned by my sister in law so I am chuffed to hear that you had a great experience there!
PS – I am not entering as I think it would be wrong for me to win this considering that there is a family connection there 🙂
PPS – please stop calling yourself FAT! You are NOT fat. You have just recently had a baby. Totally different thing!!
PPPS – sorry I keep calling you on calling yourself fat. Actually, not sorry. I think you need to stop seeing yourself in such a negative light – you look amazing for only having given birth a few months ago!
PPPPS – 🙂
Hahaha Sam – day made 😉
I am experiencing terrible twos with a 17 month old- feel my pain! Oh and let me not forget to mention cutting her 18th tooth ?