The world is in crisis, the world has gone mean
Everywhere you look it’s ‘Covid 19’!
It started off fun, we felt so global
We felt strong, we felt united, we felt fairly noble
When they asked us so nicely, to kindly lock up
We nodded our heads and all signed up
And off we went, into our homes, prepared to live like garden gnomes
We stocked up on loo roll, we under-stocked booze
We prepared for Netflix binges and the odd daytime snooze
The schools shut down, the playgrounds went dead
We took the kids home to bake banana bread
The shops closed their doors, yes, all the stores
And the corporates new job now was to mop up the floors
We made our own beer with yeast an an apple
And in handmade sanitiser recipes we did dabble
We logged in to Skype, House party and Zoom
And our new offices erected in dining rooms
21 days he said, with a kind look in his eye
And we all gasped and breathed a huge relieved sigh
Dear Cyril is here, to lighten our loads, to tell us what to do when Corona implodes
He fumbled his mask and the autocue too
But still we trusted, the leader of the ANC zoo
21 days he said, was all it would take
To flatten the curve and to bake and bake
Then again, did he call the country to help
And reluctantly more days were added. Gulp
But still we listened, so eager to please, that we hadn’t yet realised, we’d pushed to our knees
No hot chicken for you, no hugs with mom
Our emotions were like time ticking bombs
And finally when the next level came
We stupidly thought it was the end of the game
Until Mrs Zuma and her silly rules
Still forbade ciggies and the sale of booze
And so the people got sad, they even got mad
They wanted their freedom, oh so bad
And freedom was given, although not in wine
We were granted jogs between 6 and 9
And so we ran and walked skipped and biked
While the joblessness and poverty spiked
We adhered to the new order, the rules and the law
But my god, the global numbers continued to soar
So to combat the levels, that weren’t going down, old Cyril, the squirrel, brought out the clowns
New rules were made, new things to abide
(The sale of pies, panties and stationery aside)
Shops could now open, but only a few
And to go there you had to know what to do
Wear a mask, around your face
Don’t walk less than 2 metres a pace
Enter the store, for nothing more, than the necessities you actually came for
Sanitise first, sanitise last, look at your teller through safety glass
Winter clothes to buy, are absolutely fine
Winter booze to drink will elicit a fine
If the sleeves are too short, it cannot be bought, but fabric to sew, is a no go
Unless said fabrics are for the making of masks
Which in case you forgot you can’t wear in parks
For if you don’t know for parks are now closed
You’re only allowed on wide open roads
But only if those roads are deemed close to home
As in five kilometres of your go-to zone
You must run with masks, over your mouth,
After all, it’s to protect your health
In shops you must not touch any thing, for fear of the corona virus will bring
The rule ends there, I’m afraid to say
For when you give your credit card to pay
A teller (masked up) will grab your card
And with exposed fingers will touch it hard
Said card then goes back to you, whilst your brush up against others in queues
If it’s items you want, that cant be bought, like toys and games or something for sport
There are people online, who can be bought, and for hundreds of rands you can purchase a quart
Smokes, booze and summer gear, aren’t available anywhere
And you can forget about even cutting your hair!
To order online, is perfectly fine, as long as you have plenty of time
For unless its wooly, essential or warm
You will wait for your order longer than norm
And if in this time, you find yourself thinking
Instead of all of this day-time drinking
Maybe it’s time for some DIY
I’ll fix it with tape and paint I can buy
Well, the jokes on you, you keen handy man
For the sale of anything home related is banned
So to be safe, my friends, my message to you
To help in combating the Covid blues
Stay safe in doors while out only till nine
Preserve every last sip of your precious wine
Grow your own veg and brew your own beer
For it certainly seems as if we’re all stuck here
And let’ wait together, while waiting apart
For our next instruction on doing our part
So dear Mr President, please talk to us
We are one day away from making a fuss
From storming the streets after curfew
And causing a stink, for if only you knew
Our group powers are strong, our feelings are too
Talk to us soon or face a new ‘coup.
