Oh, The Places You Wont Go.

The world is in crisis, the world has gone mean

Everywhere you look it’s ‘Covid 19’!

It started off fun, we felt so global

We felt strong, we felt united, we felt fairly noble

When they asked us so nicely, to kindly lock up

We nodded our heads and all signed up

And off we went, into our homes, prepared to live like garden gnomes

We stocked up on loo roll, we under-stocked booze

We prepared for Netflix binges and the odd daytime snooze

The schools shut down, the playgrounds went dead

We took the kids home to bake banana bread

The shops closed their doors, yes, all the stores

And the corporates new job now was to mop up the floors

We made our own beer with yeast an an apple

And in handmade sanitiser recipes we did dabble

We logged in to Skype, House party and Zoom

And our new offices erected in dining rooms

21 days he said, with a kind look in his eye

And we all gasped and breathed a huge relieved sigh

Dear Cyril is here, to lighten our loads, to tell us what to do when Corona implodes

He fumbled his mask and the autocue too

But still we trusted, the leader of the ANC zoo

21 days he said, was all it would take

To flatten the curve and to bake and bake

Then again, did he call the country to help

And reluctantly more days were added. Gulp

But still we listened, so eager to please, that we hadn’t yet realised, we’d pushed to our knees

No hot chicken for you, no hugs with mom

Our emotions were like time ticking bombs

And finally when the next level came

We stupidly thought it was the end of the game

Until Mrs Zuma and her silly rules

Still forbade ciggies and the sale of booze

And so the people got sad, they even got mad

They wanted their freedom, oh so bad

And freedom was given, although not in wine

We were granted jogs between 6 and 9

And so we ran and walked skipped and biked

While the joblessness and poverty spiked

We adhered to the new order, the rules and the law

But my god, the global numbers continued to soar

So to combat the levels, that weren’t going down, old Cyril, the squirrel, brought out the clowns

New rules were made, new things to abide

(The sale of pies, panties and stationery aside)

Shops could now open, but only a few

And to go there you had to know what to do

Wear a mask, around your face

Don’t walk less than 2 metres a pace

Enter the store, for nothing more, than the necessities you actually came for

Sanitise first, sanitise last, look at your teller through safety glass

Winter clothes to buy, are absolutely fine

Winter booze to drink will elicit a fine

If the sleeves are too short, it cannot be bought, but fabric to sew, is a no go

Unless said fabrics are for the making of masks

Which in case you forgot you can’t wear in parks

For if you don’t know for parks are now closed

You’re only allowed on wide open roads

But only if those roads are deemed close to home

As in five kilometres of your go-to zone

You must run with masks, over your mouth,

After all, it’s to protect your health

In shops you must not touch any thing, for fear of the corona virus will bring

The rule ends there, I’m afraid to say

For when you give your credit card to pay

A teller (masked up) will grab your card

And with exposed fingers will touch it hard

Said card then goes back to you, whilst your brush up against others in queues

If it’s items you want, that cant be bought, like toys and games or something for sport

There are people online, who can be bought, and for hundreds of rands you can purchase a quart

Smokes, booze and summer gear, aren’t available anywhere

And you can forget about even cutting your hair!

To order online, is perfectly fine, as long as you have plenty of time

For unless its wooly, essential or warm

You will wait for your order longer than norm

And if in this time, you find yourself thinking

Instead of all of this day-time drinking

Maybe it’s time for some DIY

I’ll fix it with tape and paint I can buy

Well, the jokes on you, you keen handy man

For the sale of anything home related is banned

So to be safe, my friends, my message to you

To help in combating the Covid blues

Stay safe in doors while out only till nine

Preserve every last sip of your precious wine

Grow your own veg and brew your own beer

For it certainly seems as if we’re all stuck here

And let’ wait together, while waiting apart

For our next instruction on doing our part

So dear Mr President, please talk to us

We are one day away from making a fuss

From storming the streets after curfew

And causing a stink, for if only you knew

Our group powers are strong, our feelings are too

Talk to us soon or face a new ‘coup.

You may also like

5 Comments

  1. Oh what a great read… it’s sad but true,
    We’re all walking around not sure what to do!
    I’m sad, I’m worried, I’m poor and I’m cross!
    And now I don’t trust my countries boss.
    Let’s hope this tunnel has a light at the end,
    But for now, good luck and stay safe my friend!

  2. My heart breaks for you guys in SA. I know our numbers are bad but atleast we have booze and cigs and can exercise whenever we want, how many times we want. Stay strong my friend xx

Leave a Reply to Sami Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *