It’s repeatedly telling your child to please not eat the computer mouse cable, to please not sit in the dog food bowl and to stop wiping their macaroni fingers on new couches.
It’s casually referring to their poo’s as ‘chicken korma’ ‘pre-gastro for sure’ and ‘bok pellet hard’ with your partner nodding their head in sage agreement.
It’s thinking a lie-in past 5:30 am is a treat
It’s going to the shops, on your own, to buy something or yourself and returning with baby sunblock, nappies and a new toy
It’s yelling ’keep making a noise, I’m coming right back’ as you leave them in the bath to quickly find towels/soap/facecloths/your wine’
It’s understanding what they want, and when they want it, even when they cant say a word
It’s having someone watch you got to the loo – even for a poo – for the rest of your life
It’s wanting them asleep when they’re awake, and then watching them when they sleep willing them to wake up.
It’s not so subtly rolling your eyes when non-parents tell you how busy/stressed/broke they are
It’s secretly being relieved when your child is the bitee and not the biter
It’s the sweet-grab-to-shut-them-up in the middle of the shopping aisle even though you swore you never would
It’s the catching them doing something new and feeling you might burst from pride
It’s repeating the same thing, for hours on end, just to get them to laugh again and again
It’s wondering why you ever thought you were poor when you didn’t have kids
It’s admitting that you can no longer wear white, or anything that costs more than R300
It’s cursing them for the state of your body, while eating more chocolate and staring into your 3rd wine glass
It’s berating yourself for being a working mom and wondering if the guilt will ever really end
It’s the magical limb stretch you do when driving, just to retrieve their dropped dummy/water bottle/tree leaf
It’s the automatic stop, freeze, listen motion you make whenever you hear a small child cry
It’s the promise to yourself that tomorrow you will be stricter, better, more attentive, more aware
It’s the greatest, hardest, best, most fun adventure you will ever go on