You may remember this post. About the Mommy Groups. And while I still belong to the chosen few on Facebook, and several more on Whatsapp, I am getting more and more frustrated by some of the content I see.
Since when did someones elses opinion trump your own gut instinct? Daily, my feeds across all the socials are flooded with questions such as “My child fell off the bed, is bleeding from every orifice, has stopped breathing, and has turned blue. What should I do, mommies? LOL!”
DROP YOUR PHONE. GET HIM IN YOUR VEHICLE, AND TAKE HIM TO THE FUCKING EMERGENCY ROOM.
Well, that should be the answer. Instead, other moms from far flung corners of the earth reply with ‘well, how much is he bleeding’ or ‘shame mommy, I’m starting a healing prayer chain for you’.
Then when matters don’t call for alarmed reactions, more like some common sense, moms everywhere terrify the bejeezus out of other moms with answers to comments of “My nanny told me she likes apples, and I also like apples. Do you think she wants to kill me and steal my identity?”
“Yes. Your nanny is going to murder you in your sleep”.
Surely, as mother to said child who is now on the verge of death, or the worried mum who fears she may find herself organ-less in an ice bath in a matter of hours, should know best? Tell me you don’t believe that the opinion (of generally well intentioned) strangers trumps trusting your gut?
Now, before you lambaste me, understand that there is very much a need for these sort of groups. I derive immense value in a lot of the commentary, and will often ask a question of my own. (As an example, during the recent heatwave – I was glued to the groups in the hopes that someone could provide a miracle cure for turning my child’s bedroom from a million degrees, to something less aggressive. Like 40 Celsius). However, I really feel like everyone needs to take a step back, calm down and think before posting ridiculous queries.
I’m a new mom, so I’m on your team, but I can promise you that there is no right way to raise a child – there’s your way. Your paed is not the best paed because he does XYZ, your baby will not turns into a zombie should you feed him a fruit before hes 12.2 months old. Yes, he can sleep with socks on, but he can also sleep with no socks. Baby has a temperature? Give him meds, or take him to the doctor, or go outside and pray to the fever gods. At the end of the day you will know, deep in your heart, what is best for you. My child has never been to a paed, we don’t even have one should he need one, has fallen over and smashed his larger-than-normal sized head more times than I care to mention, has slipped under water in-front of my very eyes, used a BUMBO (gasp!) and has hit a 41 degree temperature when teething. Am I a terrible mom? You might think so, but I think my style of parenting is right for me – I’m letting my child explore, learn, fall, learn again and cry a little bit. Maybe I’m also a little bit lazy. Yes, I’m also a little bit lazy. And cheap. have you seen the price of peads?
So moms, before you rush to your phone or PC to ask the world their opinion, remember that there isn’t always safety in numbers. Trust yourselves just a little bit more. You’re doing a great job.