1. An item of food in the communal fridge is immediately deemed as a free for all and must be laced with laxatives or brussel sprouts to avoid thievery.
3. The aircon temperature can never be agreed on
4. Pens, unless chained to your desk, will grow tiny pen legs and walk. This rule applies to calculators, staplers and any other shiny item of stationery.
5. The rule of cooking: The colleague sitting closest to you will ultimately be the one re-heating fish and broccoli for lunch.
6. Your working hours become skinner fodder for everyone. “Leaving at 4:59 again hey Sue?”.
7. Booking a communal boardroom in advance only means said boardroom will never actually be available come the time you need it
8. The second a client arrives for a meeting the water cooler will be empty, the coffee finished and the receptionist will be on a tea break.
9. Whispered hallway conversations always make you feel as if you’re about to get fired.
10. Shit will always hit the fan at 4:45pm on a Friday afternoon.
11. Guaranteed – no matter how hard you have been working the entire day, the second you open Facebook your boss will walk past.
12. Nothing is private.
13. Dieting? Sorry for you. Birthdays mean cake, and lots of it.
14. You sit within ‘guess the deodorant brand’ range from everyone, if you’re lucky. If not, it’s more like ‘guess when last they wore deodorant”.
15. It is loud. ALL.THE.TIME.