Life, Uncategorized

Oh, The Places You Wont Go.

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The world is in crisis, the world has gone mean

Everywhere you look it’s ‘Covid 19’!

It started off fun, we felt so global

We felt strong, we felt united, we felt fairly noble

When they asked us so nicely, to kindly lock up

We nodded our heads and all signed up

And off we went, into our homes, prepared to live like garden gnomes

We stocked up on loo roll, we under-stocked booze

We prepared for Netflix binges and the odd daytime snooze

The schools shut down, the playgrounds went dead

We took the kids home to bake banana bread

The shops closed their doors, yes, all the stores

And the corporates new job now was to mop up the floors

We made our own beer with yeast an an apple

And in handmade sanitiser recipes we did dabble

We logged in to Skype, House party and Zoom

And our new offices erected in dining rooms

21 days he said, with a kind look in his eye

And we all gasped and breathed a huge relieved sigh

Dear Cyril is here, to lighten our loads, to tell us what to do when Corona implodes

He fumbled his mask and the autocue too

But still we trusted, the leader of the ANC zoo

21 days he said, was all it would take

To flatten the curve and to bake and bake

Then again, did he call the country to help

And reluctantly more days were added. Gulp

But still we listened, so eager to please, that we hadn’t yet realised, we’d pushed to our knees

No hot chicken for you, no hugs with mom

Our emotions were like time ticking bombs

And finally when the next level came

We stupidly thought it was the end of the game

Until Mrs Zuma and her silly rules

Still forbade ciggies and the sale of booze

And so the people got sad, they even got mad

They wanted their freedom, oh so bad

And freedom was given, although not in wine

We were granted jogs between 6 and 9

And so we ran and walked skipped and biked

While the joblessness and poverty spiked

We adhered to the new order, the rules and the law

But my god, the global numbers continued to soar

So to combat the levels, that weren’t going down, old Cyril, the squirrel, brought out the clowns

New rules were made, new things to abide

(The sale of pies, panties and stationery aside)

Shops could now open, but only a few

And to go there you had to know what to do

Wear a mask, around your face

Don’t walk less than 2 metres a pace

Enter the store, for nothing more, than the necessities you actually came for

Sanitise first, sanitise last, look at your teller through safety glass

Winter clothes to buy, are absolutely fine

Winter booze to drink will elicit a fine

If the sleeves are too short, it cannot be bought, but fabric to sew, is a no go

Unless said fabrics are for the making of masks

Which in case you forgot you can’t wear in parks

For if you don’t know for parks are now closed

You’re only allowed on wide open roads

But only if those roads are deemed close to home

As in five kilometres of your go-to zone

You must run with masks, over your mouth,

After all, it’s to protect your health

In shops you must not touch any thing, for fear of the corona virus will bring

The rule ends there, I’m afraid to say

For when you give your credit card to pay

A teller (masked up) will grab your card

And with exposed fingers will touch it hard

Said card then goes back to you, whilst your brush up against others in queues

If it’s items you want, that cant be bought, like toys and games or something for sport

There are people online, who can be bought, and for hundreds of rands you can purchase a quart

Smokes, booze and summer gear, aren’t available anywhere

And you can forget about even cutting your hair!

To order online, is perfectly fine, as long as you have plenty of time

For unless its wooly, essential or warm

You will wait for your order longer than norm

And if in this time, you find yourself thinking

Instead of all of this day-time drinking

Maybe it’s time for some DIY

I’ll fix it with tape and paint I can buy

Well, the jokes on you, you keen handy man

For the sale of anything home related is banned

So to be safe, my friends, my message to you

To help in combating the Covid blues

Stay safe in doors while out only till nine

Preserve every last sip of your precious wine

Grow your own veg and brew your own beer

For it certainly seems as if we’re all stuck here

And let’ wait together, while waiting apart

For our next instruction on doing our part

So dear Mr President, please talk to us

We are one day away from making a fuss

From storming the streets after curfew

And causing a stink, for if only you knew

Our group powers are strong, our feelings are too

Talk to us soon or face a new ‘coup.

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Life

Win With Logitech!

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If you follow me on Instagram you would have seen this post yesterday about the awesome little mouse that Logitech will be sending me for Mothers day. I cannot wait to get my hands (literally) on this nifty little device – and to share the love – I cant wait for you to get your hands on one, either!

To celebrate Mothers Day, I am giving away one #LogitechSA M350 #Pebblemouse, valued at R500.

Apart from being adorably cute (and pink! or off white or graphite) this mouse is also the perfect accessory for people on the move. As a photographer I am either sitting at my iMac, editing, or on the move between shoots. This means I find myself working off my laptop from coffee shops, shoot locations or even my car! The Logitech M350 is going to become the perfect accompaniment to my laptop bag as its portable, slim and silent (especially important when I’m trying to work discreetly)

It will also brighten up your home office work space while you’e in lockdown – which if youre anyting looms like me – is full of your work, kids work and a hundred bits of arts and crafts!

It is so easy to win. All you need to do is:

  1. Like my Instagram page
  2. Comment on my Logitech post and tell me what colour you’d like to win
  3. Tag a buddy on the post
  4. For an extra entry, comment on this bog post telling me why your home office needs the Logitech M350

Please note that the prize can only be delivered after lockdown

The winner will be randomly drawn on Monday, 11 May

Good Luck!

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Life

10 Things I’ve Realised During Lockdown

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1. You will wish you had planned better

The days between Cyril telling us when lockdown would start, and when lockdown did actually start, felt like weeks. In a way I wanted it to happen instantly, as I felt like I was in limbo, merely stretching out the social distancing and waiting for it to merge into a full on house arrest. Sure, I squeezed in last shoots and a few shops but even those were cautious, sanitised and impersonal. I bought some wine (not nearly enough, it turns out) some tinned good and some 2 minute noodles. I also visited the nursery and grabbed some seedlings and soil. All normal purchases. What I regret the most is not planning better for all the ‘time’. I’m not talking about stockpiling toilet paper or whoring out Makro’s supply of baked beans – I’m talking about things to do once the novelty factor had worn off. Human beings are constantly wishing for time, for there seemingly is never enough. I – when dreaming about free time – have always wished learning how to watercolour paint, learn illustration, macrame or sort out the garden. Sadly, I don’t think any of us realised just how few items would be available and just how much the urge to make everything on our Pinterest boards would pressure us into panic mode. If I had known, 20 odd days ago, what I knew now, I would have skipped the bog roll and tinned good aisle and headed straight to builders Warehouse, Leroy Merlin, the nursery, fabric and craft stores and bought DIY items, stationery and glue sticks by the truckload.

2. Your urge to be productive will overwhelm you

One of the most beautiful things to have come out of lockdown, is global sharing. Everywhere I look people are giving of their time, their skills and their passions. Musicians are holding virtual concerts, artists are teaching people how to draw, chefs are sharing their secret recipes and most relevant to me, photographers are teaching their best kept secrets. This sharing, coupled with basically everything available on the Internet, means that there has never been a better time to learn something new. But with that comes the overwhelming panic of trying to do too much. Let’s get one thing out the way – if you are doing lockdown with kids, then you don’t actually have free time. If anything – trying to keep them entertained/schooled/fed (oh my god for the feeding!) as well as trying to get work done, keep the house from imploding with mess and fold laundry, there’s barely time for a hot coffee with everything else going on. Let’s all just take a moment for stay at home moms, everywhere, right? My days have taken on a semi routine whereby I get my workout done first thing and then spend half a day in my office churning out edits and admin. Luckily, the one kid still naps and the other is loving his new found TV freedom. But once the toddler is awake its a buckle-down-the-hatches-and-brace-the-storm until they are all crafted, played and snacked out. When bedtime arrives (for them) I find myself pouncing the archives of Youtube or Pinterest trying to decide what I want to learn from all these people telling me that I can do anything now… which leads me to my next point:

3. You will put a lot of pressure on yourself

I’m seeing photographers create underwater mermaid composites and I’m watching illustrators churn out children’s book and novelists give lessons on mandarin and I want to do it all, but realistically, I can’t. And nor can you. I will not be able to learn a new language this lockdown, I probably wont have the capacity to learn a brand new skill and I sure as shit cannot bake another cake (for the sole reason that fattening the curve has become my new lockdown hobby of choice). What I can do is prioritise my never ending list of things I want to do and create an edible elephant of realistic, achievable goals, For me, my lockdown task has been so sift, sort and categorise all the photographs I have taken of my kids and organise them in such a way that I can then start working on photo books. And honestly? We are 20 days in and I am still downloading iCloud photos from 2017. So, if you’re like me and the anxiety of ‘getting stuff done’ is crippling you, be gentle on yourself, Instead of learning how to crochet a dinosaur princess or paint a masterpiece, try improve on a skill you already have. Or don’t. be gentle on yourself.

4. You wont do what you thought you would

When I’m stressed, I clean. Or sort. Or fix. So I imagined coming out of this lockdown like a Marie Condo butterfly emerging from a cluttered cocoon – all back to basics breezy with a house that shone, alphabetised tinned goods in my pantry and seasonally organised cupboards. Well, none of that has happened. A) because living in a house with 2 small humans means that nothing is ever clean or simple and B) living in a house with 2 small humans means that there is literally no time to eat the tinned goods, let alone alphabetise them.

5. You will learn more out about yourself

A friend once called me a fixer of broken souls, and I guess I am. I don’t know where it comes from but I have this innate need to mend and fix and heal. If I look back on a lot of relationships I’ve realised that the majority of them started with them being in a vulnerable position, and me being the carer. I can’t operate unless there is someone who needs me and this lockdown has seen me sending messages of support and checking in and facetiming those who were battling. But it’s also given me a reality check about putting myself before others and learning about boundaries. I very seldom put myself first, or my kids first, and lockdown has forced me to reprioritise my relationship with myself and my children. It has been hard, but being alone with only your immediate family gives you a great sense of perspective and understanding and I am slowly starting to learn a bit more about my people pleasing ways.You will also find out a lot abut the people around you. and then some. Crisis doesn’t create character. It reveals it. I found this quote this morning and it resonated so loudly with me. There is nothing quite like a world in crisis to make you realise who checks in on you, for a change. Listen to that silence, dear reader, for it is deafening.

6. You will love getting to know your kids

One of the most wonderful things to have happened this lockdown, is the relationship I have built with my children, pre lock down Kate lived in a world of frenetic madness. Deadline driven, I always put work first and spending time with my kids became a frustrating distraction from THINGS THAT NEEDED DOING. And whilst I still have some residual work and admin, I have no work to go to, which means I am home all the time and able to spend one one one moments with my kids. I’m not rushing off to a shoot or locked in my studio editing, I am home evenings and weekends and the novelty for me is even more exciting than it is for them. I have always known they were great, but discovering their personalities and characters and individual quirks has been the most breathtakingly wonderful experience. To sit down and play with my kids, without having to be anywhere else, well, that’s just magic (disclaimer – I still look forward to their bedtime now more than ever and the days now actually have 79 hours in them)

7. You will get to know your spouse

Mine swears a lot on conference calls. And he is on calls a lot. The man must have a brain tumour the size of a boulder at this stage from the radiation. He also types really loudly on his keyboard and has his phone set to an annoying ‘ping’ every time he smacks the keypad. He has not followed through on his promise to pick up dog turd (instead he slips the kid 10 bucks to do it once a week) and he is so caught up in work that yesterday I shoved a raw chilli in his mouth after he ignored me for the 19th time. However, despite the murderous glares I give him when he clangs his cutlery against the bowl for the umpteenth time, our marriage has actually improved. From a couple who fights, alot, we have had one teeny argument. Turns out, that actually being around your spouse for longer than a ‘morning‘ before you rush off to your proverbial jobs or meetings, has its perks. I also need to say very nice things about him because – for the first time in my life – I need to borrow a salary from someone, and tag, he is it.

8. You will miss the small things

Grabbing a bottle of wine at Woolies, same day Takealot delivery, tenderstem broccoli, an afterwork glass of wine with a friend, braai’s and dinner parties, your kids hugging their grandparents, seeing your parents, walking your dog, a run around the block, browsing the sales at Cotton On, the makeup aisles in Clicks, being able to buy whatever you need, when you need it, pre-santisier soft hands, impromptu get togethers and even hugs.

9. You will wish for more time

When Cyril announced the additional 21 days of lockdown, my first thought was relief (followed by the crippling vomity feeling of no work, job, income or money for food). The first 21 days went by quickly and despite moments of panic, cabin fever, sadness and one fat snot drizz cry into my leggings, for the most part it has been pleasant and productive, but I still feel like I need more time. In a personal capacity to finish my lockdown tasks and actually sort those cupboards out, and from a country and global perspective in terms of healing and slowing this frightening virus down.

10. You will be emerge out of this more grateful

For so much. For your health and your spouses ability to generate an income whilst you cant, ha! For your family and your friends For your kids and your dogs. For your garden and your space. For your ability to adapt. For gyms and shops and small businesses. For Papachinos and takeaways. For thinking of you’ messages from strangers and check in calls from friends, For your dermapen therapist. For work. For clients and income and money to buy things. For healthcare and heat professionals, for workers who kept on going though all of this. For the world that kept on turning, waiting for us to heal it, and heal ourselves.

 

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Foodie Stuff, Life

More LO’r, Please.

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Does anyone else feel like September is the Monday of the year? Yes, the weather starts warming up and the air feels fresher and sweeter, but it’s also a time when everyone seems to hit that end of year slump and daydream about holidays and breaks and a teeny tiny bit of downtime.

For us photographers, it also means the start of busy season, so whilst we were counting Rands and Cents in the Winter months, the Summer months mean the bookings start flooding it. Great for debit orders, not so great for exhaustion and fatigue

So a little drop from L’Or coffee was the best timed present I could have received recently – they delivered (straight to my office!) a fancy pod espresso machine and a huge supply of all their delicious coffee pods. These haven’t even touched sides as I’m starting each day with atleast 3 or 4 of these bad boys. Even more on days when I have back to back shoots – or in the case of today, triplet newborns!

So, make mine a, er, triple?

My clients are loving them as well and I literally had a dad in studio last week drink seven in a row – oh, how newborns can make caffeine our new fuel 😉

You can find out more about L’Or on their online and social media channels. But the real way to experience them is to buy some pods and taste them. they are compatible with Nespresso machines and taste even better than the real deal. My favourite is the Ristretto in ’11’. It’s dark and black. A bit like my grouch morning personality.

The best part? the pods are recyclable – yay for us greenies!

Have you tasted LO’r? What are your thoughts?

PS  if you do want a sample come visit me in my studio for a cuppa. I can’t promise I wont put you to work though 😉

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Life

Life Lately

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Guys, how are we in August already? I honestly feel like this year has been one of those ‘blink and you miss it’ ones, but it’s also been insanely busy and filled with a ton of stuff, and busy stuff. Ever since having the second kid I feel like my life has quadrupled with busyness – perhaps it’s because Piper is the most hectic of all the humans, ever, but she has completely turned my life around in terms of managing my time – or even finding time – to get anything done

I know my last update was all about the new business and where that’s at – so I wont bore y’all with more news on that.

Health

I write this 10 days after having a tonsillectomy – an op which everyone warned me would be incredibly sore as an adult. I went into it thinking I would rock it like I do most things that are considered ‘painful’ – but it seems that my pain threshold was finally met with this one. Not that I’ve been in bed wallowing in self pity – I wish! But the ongoing pain from the op has left me beyond irritated and sore. I am also incredibly exhausted – which I think has a lot to do from both the strong pain med and the fact that I haven’t actually allowed myself the time to rest. I blocked out a week in the diary after the procedure but I’ve still been going to meetings and editing and doing all of the admin that I have been meaning to do this year. I was looking forward to a bit of a ‘break’ while I recovered – but my bank balance and new dog, Pixel – prevented any of this.

Why my new dog, you ask? I think this video explains it best:

On the health and wellness front, I took up keto in solidarity with my husband, a few months back. He is severely carb intolerant and so, to support him, I went full fat ahead so he wouldn’t have to do it alone. Sadly, he has the willpower of a Garfield in a lasagne factory, so that eating plan came crashing down like a ton of freshly baked cheese rolls. And so once again, on the weight front, I stand in front of the mirror wanting to cry. Nothing has shifted since having my daughter and I am fed up. I decided this morning that I need to lose 6 kilos by October. Any grand ideas for me?

Yo-Yo dieting aside, I have signed up to an awesome outdoor bootcamp company called ‘Fab Fit Slay. The classes are 30 minutes each, 4 days a week with the option of doing 2 or even 3 in a row. I love that they are close to home and quick – plus you can bring your kids (although I really try not to) so there’s really no excuse. If you’re in the Douglasdale area you should really come check it out – it’s tons of fun.

Luck

They say bad things happen in threes, so I can’t help but think that someone out there needs to learn better maths, because the last month has been horrific! My poor pooch, Rupert, the name behind this blog, was hit by a car. I have no idea how he survived, but I thank my lucky stars that he did. It was such a big scare and I cry even thinking about it. My husband was mugged last week and had his phone stolen. Our house was burgled the weekend before and both my kids have been in and out of doctors with random Wintery revoltingness. Apart from that (and our 100 other insurance claims, my tonsillectomy and a spider in my bed) I’m hoping that from here our luck starts to improve a bit 😉

Things I love

I was  recently gifted a floor cleaner from a company called Karcher, called an FC5. Granted, it may be my age. It may be the fact that I have 2 kids and 3 dogs and an all vinyl floor. It may be that my photo studio is all white or it may be that we are renovating, again. Whatever it is, this thing has changed my bloody life. it’s also changed Kelly, my nanny’s life. She wipes this things down after every use and thanks me for it, almost daily.

In a nutshell, it’s a wet dry vacuum cleaner that uses a teeny tiny tank of water, some floor cleaning solution and magical unicorn powers to suck up dirt and mess and leave your floors shining like new. I’m so excited by this thing that I even did a sexy time dance with it in my studio. Photos as evidence.

 

I’m using it so much that i’ve already had to replace the rolls and I now have rolls for outside screeding, inside vinyl and studio floors. Not that I’m specific, or anything.

Another exciting gift, which literally arrived this morning, is going to benefit me as well as my shoot clients. We have had a really bad run with insurance claims lately – and one of the items which was dropped and broken at home was my much loved Nespresso machine – so this delivery from L’Or has come at just the right time. It’s a L’Or pod coffee machine and a delicious supply of L’Or coffee capsules.

I promised the nice folk at L’Or that I would be sharing it with my client but now… I’m not so sure 😉

PS – L’Or coffee capsules are all recyclable and the coffee is all sustainable – so you can get your caffeine kick, guilt free

 

I am a huge Lisa Raleigh fan – mostly because anyone who looks that good after having a baby is clearly to be worshipped, but also because I really believe in her products. I bought her rebounder trampoline last year, which I loved and was recently sent a box of goodies containing her ‘Super Scoop’ products. These are dissolvable powders containing  superfood ingredients that can be added to water, smoothies, yoghurts and more. They are apparently incredible for kids (this is for you, moms with fussy eaters!) and I also add them to my morning smoothies.

Amazing sponsored goodies aside, I have also started an honest review story on my Instagram feed, and I am just having the most fun. From reviewing tattoo eyebrow gels to K beauty and everything in between – it’s really not good for my wallet – but it is good for a laugh. Head on over to my IG to find out more

Ambassador News

I was recently announced as an ambassador for a brand that I simply adore – Lens Love Accessories. they are a Cape Town based company who make the most gorgeous camera straps, bags and accessories, and I still can’t believe they have picked little old me to represent some of their goodies. If you own a camera, you need one of these straps – check out their page here. I’ll also be sharing photos of the goodies as soon as they arrive.

Inspiration

I have found an incredible photographer, by the name of Sujata, who’s work has just blown me away. i’m making it my 2019 mission to learn her editing skills and share some pics similar to this. I started yesterday by taking some photos of my 95 year old Oma and 1 year old daughter together – so I will be sharing those on the KRP ‘gram, soon!

Look at her work – isn’t it insane?

 

The Kids

And what’s a Rupert blog without a mention of my two favourite things – Carter and Piper. Apart from keeping me very busy, my house very messy and my wallet very empty, these two are still ‘pinch me’ amazing.

 

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Pregnancy and Parenting

Hey Parents, Let’s Not Raise Asshole Children.

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Yesterday, my normally ‘good’ child gave me a glimpse of what we could expect in his teenage years. He was surly and rude and quite frankly, no bum klap or timeout was working. I eventually resorted to banning his TV time for 3 nights (yes, shit escalated).

Now, any parent worth their salt understands that a ban on TV time is actually harder for the adults. Our Netflix gets switched on so fast an hour before bed that sometimes magicians blink twice. I use the time to cook dinner, catchup on emails or just hit my head repeatedly against a door if I’ve had a particularly trying day.

Yes, folks. I both smack my kids and let them watch television. Sometimes I even give them S U G A R

Anyways. After a half an hour of slamming doors (him, not me), a few glasses of wine (me, not him) he came out to apologise. We chatted and hugged and made up and that was that. Until 5 minutes later he asked if he was therefore allowed to watch TV before bed. To which I had to tell him, ‘no’.

The poor kid was devastated – he could not understand why, when we were big buddies again and all was forgotten, that he was still punished. And this is when I had to stand resolute in my shaky parenting skills and explain to him that in order for him to understand what he did, and to respect me, I had to follow through with his punishment. He actually took it like a champ and that night, instead of Noddy or what every drivel the animators are churning out these days, he sat and chatted to a friend who was over for dinner, drew pictures and read books.

Now, before you go thinking this is all about me giving parenting lessons (I mean, why would you, I drink on the job and use TV time to browse Instagram) I did have a long hard think about this, and other ‘Raising children conundrums’ that have been bugging me.

I’m pretty certain we all know where I stand on the whole ‘girls are princesses, boys are princes’ thing, so I’ll move on. But the whole cutesy naming of our gendered children has also led to another growing concern – WE, yes, us as parents – are letting hem get away with absolute murder.

Remember my whole ‘don’t make vegetables‘ the enemy’ speech? This is kind of like that, except replace the word vegetables with ‘discipline’.

Now, public disclaimer, this is not applicable to everyone, but some millennials in the work place walk around as if the CEO position is owed to them next month, they watch the clock like hawks, insist on the full 60 minute lunch break and their work ethic is pretty much down there with anyone in home affairs.

Guys, I do not want my children growing up like that. I want to instil some sort of ethic into my kids that turns them into smart, go-getting young adults. This in turn will hopefully ensure that when they enter the big bad world of adulting and work, they do not get turned out like dirty soapy bath water wondering where their participation medal is. Because it is going to happen. One day our kids will be doing things for themselves (collective gasp) and we need to give them the right footing to let them get there.

I am so tired of watching parents place the blame on teachers and peers instead of actually putting in the hard work themselves. Parents, your little girls are capable human beings. They are not delicate flowers who will break if scolded or given chores. Please don’t let them be purposefully soft (all the time). It is a hard hard world and we need to encourage them to stand up, use their voices, make rules and change the game. Let them ask questions and eat sand and build train sets. Encourage them to get messy, run wild, explore the world and be bold. Let them wear camo, high five their successes and dance around in tiaras. And then your sons, they should be allowed to cry, they are allowed to hurt and be sad and have feelings. Let them paint their nails neon pink or buy barbie dolls. Let them also climb trees and run barefoot and hit a golf ball high into the sky.  Let your girls do all this as well. Let them break the invisible boundaries of ‘he vs. she’

I have no idea what I’m doing as a parent. None. My kids vaccines are always late, my four year old has only just started seeing a dentist and sometimes dinner is scrambled egg on stale toast. But what I am trying to be better at, is treating my children the same. What’s good for the Goose must absolutely be good for the gander.

Manners. Eye Contact. A firm handshake. A clear voice. Respect. Kindness. Empathy. Interest in others. Social skills. A broad smile. These are not pink or blue traits. They are human traits.

Please, I implore you. Before all the good teachers have given up, before society has turned everything into a participation award and before everything becomes soft and bland, let’s take ownership over raising people who other people want to hang out with.

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Life

I’m Back, B*ches!

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I was thinking about, how when I wrote this post, that I would need some witty intro line like ‘hey, remember me’ or ‘gosh, I haven’t blogged in so long my website is dusty, har har’. But then I can to my site and logged in, and realised I had forgotten my password. So  this, in fact is my opening line:

Hi, I’m Kate, former blogger who cant even remember how to access her own website.

I realise that too many of my (sporadic and poorly spaced out) posts have started like this, so it’s also made me realise that A) I need to get my writing ass into gear and B) I’m sorry. I’ll try harder. All 3 of my followers tell me they miss my content.

So where does one begin after an almost 1 year hiatus? Everywhere and nowhere. I guess in a way my re-emergence from the fog means that my next few posts may be more of a (what the fuck?!) life lately than anything specific. So here goes:

It has been a hell of a year. In the last 13 months my husband and I both lost our jobs, started our own businesses, had a baby, renovated (twice) and then because I clearly didn’t have enough going on, I bought a business. So whilst some of that was super good, it has also been a really really terrible year. An Annus horribilis as Queenie would say.

I can’t get into the work front but let me just tell you, to be out of a job the first week you go back after having a baby is pretty much the biggest kick-while-you’re-down thing that can ever happen to a gal. I realised, recently, that I’m suffering from PTSD and am trying, every day, to remind myself that I am freaking awesome, capable and talented. Sounds pretty arrogant, but I need to start building my own confidence up. As with all sad stories though, it had a happy ending, and I finally had the push I needed to take my photography business to the next level. So I’m thrilled that Kate Rankin Photography is doing so well, and amazed that people keep booking me and using me and it really is the other love of my life. I love t so much, that when I was approached in January to buy a posed newborn business, I jumped.

On 1 March I became the official owner of Slumberings photography, and as I type this I am still sitting in a puddle of wee (not my own) glowing after having just shot a twin newborn session in my brand new studio.

The business, although wonderful, has come with a lot of additional stress. Not only have I had to get funding to buy the business, but I’m also loaned to my crotch hair on building debt and other-fun-stuff-that-comes-with-renovating. It’s been a long journey but I am so so happy to finally have an amazing little studio and office and a home for all aspect of my photography (come visit, I have good coffee;))

On the family front, Piper, the baby I told you about when I last blogged over a year ago, is already 14 months. This little spunky, wild eyed feral child has turned my life upside down and inside out. She took everything I thought I knew about parenting and blew it to smithereens with 8 months of no (and I mean NONE) sleep, dramatic flairs and tiny pint sized diva meltdowns. To say I love her is an understatement. She has climbed under my skin and into my heart and absolutely changed the way I feel about the world around me. Someone told me that she was sent to earth to teach me a lesson, and whiles I have no idea what lesson is, I do know that in her short 14 months she has made me more patient, more exhausted and more of a mom than ever before.

Carter, my angelic now 4 year old is just the most amazing child. He is the calm to her crazy and the brains to her bossy. My little big man makes me so proud with his intellect, thoughtfulness and eagerness ot learn. They always say that children are different but these 2 kids are polar opposites. yet it works. I think he has come to accept that his sister is the ruler of the Rankin roost, and he is merely her plaything and food-bringer. My sweet child.

Oh, and on the family front, because I clearly hared any sleep I was getting or any free time I never had, we got a puppy, Pixel. I have always wanted a Pointer and so I applied to a few rescue groups as I desperately wanted to re-home a dog. Three times we were approved, and then denied when a re-homing position became available – due to us never having owned the breed before. It was heartbreaking meeting a future dog and then being told he wouldn’t be yours. So we got Pixel from a farm in White River, and he has matched my daughter in character, busyness and attitude. He is wonderful (and so fucking naughty we threaten him with the SPA several times a day. (Rupert and Bella are still trying to make up their minds, though)

 

So that’s it, really. Apologies if you clicked through looking for dramatic anecdotes and hilarious stories – but there is just so much going on that it’s almost impossible to out down into just one post. Make sense?

Next week I promise to write about asshole friends, bad parenting and too much wine 😉

I can guarantee that I will be back here, way more often, and hopefully this Stella will get her writing groove back soon

Thanks for the love, friends!

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Foodie Stuff, Pregnancy and Parenting

Why We Need To Stop Rewarding Our Kids With Junk Food

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It’s amazing, when you become a parent, what gets you all riled up and what leaves you completely un-phased. I was at a recent school induction where the parents were up in flaming and flailing arms about teacher reshuffling, play vs. work ratio and school diaries. The one mom even wept through a sob story about how she had to take a weeks leave to assist her child to deal with the trauma of getting a new teacher. As I sat there, eyeballs wedged firmly in brain, I was brought back to reality when the topic of school lunches came up.

For some reason, children and vegetables brings out the demonic mother in me. I am genuinely so fatigued from hearing about how we have to disguise veggies in meals, about sneaky chock chip cookies made with – gasp – chickpeas! And about seeing kids menus at restaurants look like a future diabetes diagnosis. The other day I  saw this video doing the rounds on facebook and I felt genuinely sad

Parents are using junk food as a reward for eating healthy food, and we have to stop.

Remember the first time little Johnny used the word ‘fuck‘? Guess where he learnt it from? YOU. These kids are sponges and will mimic everything they see around them – so if your little sunshine gags at the sight of anything green on his plate, chances are that he has learnt that from someone else.

I have been in an environment with a family member who makes disparaging comments about vegetables in front of my children, and I have told that person that I will not let them be around my child if it carries on.

Look, I realise that some kids are just fussy eaters – and I also realise that I am hashtag blessed with my children when it comes to food. They will eat, literally, anything. My son and I fight over gherkins and olives and I have to cook double portions of my dinner every-night as he inhales fish and veg off of my plate like a wedding crasher at an open bar. Without actually licking my own arsehole, a lot of what they eat has got to do with the fact that I have never made food a big deal in my house. I love salads and veg and my kids have watched me munch my way through steaming mounds of broccoli as dessert. On the flip side, they’ve also watched me smash my fat beak in a party pack of cheese curls and finish it off with a spoon of cheesespread out the jar. And whatever I eat, I offer it to them. So to them, there’s no good and bad food, there is food that is more healthy and food that is less healthy and they (my son atleast) understands about moderation, but that’s it. he doesn’t associate baby marrow as the start of a painful journey to an ice cream end. He loves baby marrow becasue it’s delicious, and he picks it out the garden and helps me chop it and prep it. He has grown up sitting on the counter assisting with dinner and being a part if the whole process. When he visits my folks he dines on tongue and tripe and giant glossy apples from the fruit bowl. At birthday parties he eats his body weight in flings and Oros but knows that it’s a treat. Not a treat because he ate a salad. A treat full stop.

I realise just how revoltingly high and mighty I am sounding right now. I’m not, I promise, I just feel so strongly about not making my food issues, their food issues. I haven’t eaten meat in over 23 years – t I cook meat for my kids and encourage them to try and taste and get involved. My meat issues are not their issues.

A few weeks ago I was so hungover that the thought of prepping food for anyone in the house felt like actual torture. So I bought a Woolies meal for the baby and asked my son if he wanted to get a Happy Meal. The delight on his face as he clutched that red little box all the way home was too cute. I may have munched my way through a large friend on that trip as well.

It’s all about balance.

You ant your kid to eat better? You eat better. Do it as naturally as you would driving to work, turning on the TV or making conversation.

We need to stop rewarding kids with food. Because guess what, they will turn into adults who reward themselves with food. Trust me, you’re looking at someone who has spent the better part of 10 years trying to stop the bad cycle of bad day = wine/chips/cheese.

Right, rant over. It’s lunch time 😉

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Life

That’s a Wrap, 2018

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You know when you think you’re kinda holding it all together and then you realise you haven’t actually put proverbial pen to paper and blogged in several months? Not that anyone really cares, but me, although I have had a few loyal readers ask me when I’d be back. It gets harder, the less you write, and so I’ve put all blog things in the back of my mind cupboard and procrastinated hard about writing – because as much as I adore it, I also don’t want what I do wrote to sound contrived and forced. Because you should never force farts, friendships or writing.

So, I’m pretty grateful that I stumbled upon this Instagram post that was shared on Twitter. A,  because it resonated with me and B, because it’s the perfect structure for my re-entry into the blog-o-sphere. It’s also brilliant timing as I wrap up what has got to be one of the most hectic years of my life.

So, thank you @elmanga – I’m going to jump on board and take part in your virtual closing the loop retreat.

I began the year feeling…

SO excited. I was 7 months pregnant with my Piper and couldn’t wait to meet her. She was the absolute highlight of my year

The experiences that stood out for me this year…

My daughter being born

Leaving my job and becoming self employed

Understanding that I wasn’t at fault for a lot of the bad things that happened to me

Battling in my marriage and realising it’s been the hardest thing I have ever done

Finding myself falling more and more in love with my kids – I never thought you could actually love this much

Going solo and finding work and job opportunities around every single corner (why didn’t I do this sooner?!)

Getting my garden redone and FINALLY getting rid of our pink floors

I felt most supported by…

Strangely enough, strangers. I really feel as if I get the most wonderful and kind validation from my followers on Instagram and Facebook. I 100% realise we should never ever rely on social media to make you feel supported – but I guess it’s the whole concept of being able to talk more openly to relative strangers (you know, striking up a conversation with the person in line at the supermarket, or telling your hairdresser your deepest secrets). The kid words, blog shares, photography support and all round niceness that I feel from thousands of people I have never met is truly wonderful, I don’t think any of you realise just how happy you made me.

I have also had the support o a group of moms on a Whatsapp group – several of whom have become exceptionally close friends. It’s amazing how a daily check-in or ‘how was your day’ can make you feel buoyant.

I felt most inspired by…

Natalie. More on that below

My heart broke when…

A client/friend lost her baby boy to leukaemia. I met him when he was in her tummy, and then did his newborn shoot and so when he left to be with the angels I felt shattered for his family, for his life and for just how unfair it all was. Natalie, his mom, has inspired me every.single.day. She has made me realise that you have two options when something bad happens and she reminds me not to sweat the small stuff and to embrace, love and honour people more.

I continued to…

  1. Work my arse off. I feel like in between having a baby and taking 5 days off at the coast I literally did not stop working. hopefully one day I can reap the rewards, but man, I am tired.
  2. Start an eating and training plan and then stop. 2019 needs to be the year when I can be more consistent with my diet and my exercise and it shouldn’t be the result of a ‘fat day’ or boozy weekend. I need to treat my body kinder.

I let go of…

A friendship. It’s never easy but it had run it’s course and I think we both felt like we weren’t getting what we needed from the other person.

My body told me that…

It can make great babies. It is strong and powerful. It can feed said great babies and it can work just as well at 39 week pregnant as it can at 8 months post-partum. My body also told me that it didn’t like post-baby Kate and shifted and swelled and bloated and widened. After many thousands of rands with endocrinologists I do feel slightly better knowing that a lot of my grievances with my image are due to hormones, and out of my control.

I was exhausted by…

My workload. (I’m sure you’re exhausted of hearing it, but it’s true). I went back to working when Piper was 28 days old and basically haven’t stopped since.

I felt most alive when…

We took a spontaneous week holiday to the South Coast last month. On our last day we went for a long walk on the beach and saw dozens of whales in the distance. The salty sea air was spraying my face, my baby was nestled in her carrier and my son was jumping on sand dunes. My heart was the most full and content it has ever been. If I could bottle that feeling I would.

I was confused by…

How people can be so cruel. Both my husband and I have experienced something this year thats made me wonder about humanity. Thank goodness we are both removed from it now, but how people can treat other human beings has left me quite shaken. I unfortunately cant talk about my situation but I am genuinely suffering from some form of PTSD.

I was amused by..

My hilarious children. carter especially. He says and does the greatest things, and if I was a better mom I’d for sure have written a book by now

I tolerated too much of…

Selfish relationships. Although I say this every year and I do nothing about it, so I’m clearly a sucker for punishment 😉

I freed myself from…

An abusive miserable environment.

I learnt that…

Life goes on, and t goes on fast. People don’t change. Not many people can be relied on. What you give others is not what they will give back. People show love in different ways. You can survive (barely) on no sleep. You have to look after yourself.

I surprised myself when…

I solo parented my kids for 5 days. PROPS single parents. Jaysus but you have the hardest job in the world ;))

I also learnt how to be a bit more honest and push back – can’t say the people who have been on the receiving end of my new-found conflict skills were thrilled, but I suppose its new to them and me.

I placed top 10 in 4 Admired In Africa categories – a photographic competition that honours South Africa’s top photographers.

I had the courage to…

Become self employed with less than 24 hours warning. 6 months on and I couldn’t be happier.

So, I guess, my year in a nutshell. I would love to hear yours?

 

 

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Do Something New, Dammit, Life

Why Are We Not All Talking About The Menstrual Cup?

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One of the greatest parts about being pregnant – apart from the obvious ‘baking an adorable baby’ bit, is that your period leaves you in peace for anything from 9 months to 2 years, depending on how long you breastfeed for.

However, as they say, what goes up must come down, and so when Aunty flow does finally come back, she brings her extended family and their in-laws and it’s a fucking party in your pants, and you’re reminded once again just how little control you have of your own body.

Men, queasy folk and those sensitive to gore, stop reading.

It’s a literal blood bath and renders you exhausted, anaemic and stocking up on hand washing powder on a monthly basis.

Roughly 2.0705 billion women in the world get their period. Yet no-one ever talks about it, and when they do it’s usually a poorly narrated Tampax ad with some sunkissed blonde haired beach babe wearing tight white jean pant playing volleyball or leaping in the air in a cream tutu while the camera slow pans over her crotch mid flight. Look ma, no blood!

And because no one ever talks about it, no one ever knows if what they are going through is normal. I just assumed that everyone was like me and went about my business for 21 years before finally plucking up the courage to ask some girlfriends about their flow.

I was shook. Apparently bleeding out like a sacrificial lamb for eleven days a month is actually not normal. Apparently having to change pads and tampons and underwear every 45 minutes is also kinda odd. So I’ve basically spent the equivalent of a newly legal American thinking that everything was OK DOWN THERE.

It was only when I started talking to friends that the channel of communication opened. One friend, after a Whatsapp conversation detailing the goriest details about my life, suggested I try a menstrual cup. She caught me at a weak moment and I decided that spending R250 on an egg cup shaped piece of silicon couldn’t hurt. Plus, it was pink.

I did some research, jumped online and 2 days later it arrived on my doorstep.

Honestly? I was terrified to try it. It looked big and bulky and I could not fathom how I would ever fit that up there. Turns out, a quick YouTube tutorial and I was good to go. They are remarkably easy to use – out the box you do need to pop it in a cup of boiling water to sterilise it, then in between cycles it needs another good sterilisation, but during your cycle you can simply rinse it off and re insert.

Let me interrupt my self here by saying that this post is in no way sponsored, I just had to share a product that Ive been using because I truly think it’s amazing. It does take some trial and error so I’ve answered the FAQ’s you probably don’t have yet, below:

  • Often referred to as the moon, cup, goddess cup, diva cup etc
  • Any woman over the age of 30 or who has had a baby (regardless of how said baby came out) is a size ‘large’
  • The cup can be inserted in a few ways – I use the C fold, but each to their own
  • The cup is designed to stay in for 12 hours at a time so you can (if you aren’t me and need to re insert a lot during the day) plan it so that you do it in the morning before work and at night before bed.
  • They hold between 20-30ml depending on the brand. It’s frightening to see how much you do or don’t bleed. For me it was enough to see my doctor and for him to be absolutely horrified. Again, sorry queasy readers. And my dad.
  • No, you cannot feel it.
  • Yes, taking it out feels totally weird. Tip – take it out slowly and at an angle. Don’t just yank it out unless you’re keen on a scene from Kill Bill
  • Yes, it can leak if not inserted properly. There are tons of tips online, I wont bore you here
  • Yes, if it’s in properly it will not leak. I have done a shoot with it, chasing a 5 year old, a 1 year old, a LabraDane puppy and a grumpy husband and it stayed put. An early Christmas miracle
  • It has a lifespan of 10 years
  • I got the ‘Pink Cup’ from Takealot, but there are tons of options out there.
  • Its eco friendly and saves you money on buying sanitary products. Fuck you Li-lets and your overpriced toilet-rolls-with-string!
  • I have now converted 10 mates to try this product, and I like to think of this post as a way of cutting out the bullshit from your period. Period.

Try it, and let me know?

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